And Now the Good News

Nearly every mother I have encountered with a child who has autism struggles with one thing most of all: does my child even care about me?? You see, even as first time mothers when we know no different, our heart breaks when our child refuses to make eye contact, when they show no concern whether we leave or return, when they don't try to bring us into their world. Over five years have passed and my son has yet to respond with delight upon my return. He has never once said he loved me. Yet, thanks be to God, I am now seeing glimmers of hope.

As we put the boys to bed on Valentine's Day, I was busy tucking in his brother when my husband whispered in my ear, "Tell him 'Happy Valentine's Day'." Curious, I climbed the ladder to his upper bunk and said, "Happy Valentine's Day, buddy." I nearly fell down the ladder when he replied, "Happy Valentine's Day to you, too." Dazed, I wandered to my bedroom, sank down on my bed, and cried.

Sure, to some it would seem a highly mechanical response, one that requires little to no emotional concern. But what "normal" people might take for granted is for him a huge step. Most children with autism won't even reciprocate a greeting of "hello." My son has only recently started to occasionally respond with an awkward wave.

Fast forward to the following week and here is what happens:

My son said to me, "I'm going to paint a picture of you."

Busy cooking dinner, I replied, "Oh, really?"

Wandering over to his side, my jaw drops at what I see. I expected perhaps a brown squiggle or a mish-mash of colorful splats of paint. Instead, I behold:

From left to right, that's Daddy, myself, and my son. Holding hands. Daddy and I have hats. I don't know why. The brown mish-mash at the bottom? That's his little brother, he tells me with a devilish smile. Wouldn't the psychologist have a field day with that one?!