Nuts to You

Nuts? Why yes, I am. I'm up way past my bedtime. And then there is that one other thing. That adoption thing. For a while now it has been a sort of side note to our family life. Did you hear that our son has autism? Oh yes, and we want more children. From another country. Someday.
We started the process in faith before we knew about It. The Big A. Back when we thought he was just quirky and independent. And hyper. And gifted. And from a different planet. Then we put the process on hold. After all, how can parents devote time and unholy amounts of money to a child they don't even know, when the child they already put to bed each night would rather hide under a table than participate in a game of RedLight/GreenLight?
Months have passed and we've been content with that decision, when we've had time to think about it. We've been completely wrapped up in appointments, treatment options, assessments, recommended reading, and forms. Lots of forms. And then someone must have spiked our water, because out of the blue, we decided to start again.
As I pulled my boys from on top of eachother for the bazillionth time today, I thought about bringing another child into the crazy fray that is our home. I wondered how on earth we would manage. But then, I thought about the times when I was pregnant and I worried about having a child with special needs -- how would we manage? And now that I do have one, I realize that you just do. Somehow God has given us the Grace to make it through each day (mostly) intact. And I just have to believe that His Grace is sufficient for a bigger family too. Those of you who know me know that I am by no means an idealist. So to say that I am at peace with our decision to adopt is surprising -- even to me.
I am already being trained in ignoring the caustic glances of strangers. How else could I survive my son running across half the food court at the mall -- on top of the tables -- with any dignity intact? Having another child in my brood that might draw attention will probably be one of easier things to manage. As for financing the darn thing -- is there such a thing as a fourteenth mortgage? Yeah, well, that's a big question mark. Good thing my family already survives on peanut butter and jelly three times a day. Probably the biggest ordeal will be the one that already gives me migraines: loading them in the car. I shudder at the very thought!
So, as to our being completely nuts -- yes, we probably are. That or we like to thrive on faith. I'm hoping its the latter because I don't think our insurance covers crazy people.