Merry Christmas to All

Who needs Santa Claus when you have a stuffed cat?*

*The most beloved of Valley Bible Church Christmas decorations. For the record, my 3 year-old was an innocent accomplice in the program night shenanigans.

Housebound - Day 5

Or is it 6? I've lost track of time. We're running low on food and I haven't had coffee in a week. Tough times, people, tough times.

So, we've got a foot or more of snow here. I'm always impressed at how immobilizing it is in this region to have snow on the ground. Of course, it would help if our snow chains weren't at my in-laws'.

The first two days were too bitterly cold to actually enjoy being outside -- and both boys had bad coughs -- but we did manage to make it out the last couple days. Yesterday we attempted tubing at the neighborhood park, but it was very windy. Hubby and our eldest had a good time, though. Today is simply beautiful; its sunny and the snow is actually soft enough to play in. That being the case, its time to post some pictures:

Say What You Mean, Mean What You Say

"It was really the best Christmas present ever -- even better than hearing about our baby girl. I would gladly postpone our referral in exchange for that moment. I really would."

I wrote that yesterday in response to my son's Christmas program. Little did I know -- or maybe I did know deep down -- that we weren't likely to get our referral before Christmas, that it really would be postponed.

We found out today that there is little chance of a referral before early January. I spent a significant amount of time grieving the loss of that hope this afternoon before I remembered what I had written yesterday. So ironic. Now, as I'm consciously choosing to move on and rejoice in the blessings of what I do have this Christmas, I realize that I really did mean what I said. The countless mountains that God has moved in the life of my son are a testament to what God can and will do in the coming year, and that reminder Sunday night was necessary to get me through the news of today.

Speaking of irony, consider what I wrote this time last year. And if that wasn't enough, there is this. I am simply awed by where God has brought us in just one year and humbled to think of what the next year might bring...starting in early January.

In the Meantime

Another reason why our daughter needs to come home soon:

I mentioned to our 3 1/2 year-old the other day that I hoped he starts using the potty soon because I don't want to have to buy two packages of diapers each month once his sister comes home. So now he has been announcing with each diaper change, "I'll start using the potty when Baby Jo (our temporary name for her) comes." Too bad I can't get that in writing! Before that he would always say that he will only try the potty on Sundays. He never followed through on that one.

Last week when he couldn't find one of his stuffed animals I told him to go check the large box in the play room -- where the vast majority of the stuffed animals have lived since we moved...three years ago -- he returned shortly thereafter and announced, "It wasn't there. Or at least it didn't appear to be."

And the "beard" was not planned.

All I Really Want for Christmas

Sunday night was the children's Christmas program at our church. The kids had been preparing for it for months. Our boys, well, not so much. The eldest felt strongly about being with the other kids when they rehearsed, but it was really up in the air whether or not he would actually participate. The wonderful gal coordinating the whole thing works very well with him, knows his quirks and moods, etc. She would mention to us on occasion that he was really singing out on the songs and knew the words. We were pleasantly surprised, but cautious in our expectations. When the final rehearsal came, he burst into tears and refused to join in, but I think this was mostly due to the schedule change -- it occurred during the usual Sunday School hour -- than anything else. The afternoon before the performance he wavered back and forth between vowing to do nothing but watch, and insisting that he wanted to be onstage with the other children. (He had been given the job as Row Leader, the one to lead his row on and off the stage, and thus felt a great amount of responsibility to be there.)

We had no idea what to expect, but I don't think we really expected what happened. I simply cannot put into words how amazing it was to see our child bellowing out the words to one of my very favorite songs. Hubby and I both cried. It was really the best Christmas present ever -- even better than hearing about our baby girl. I would gladly postpone our referral in exchange for that moment. I really would.

(Sorry the video isn't very good. You can actually barely see him -- just his head above the heads of the audience, with the little girl's red dress behind it. I don't think it helped that hubby and I were emotional wrecks. And we didn't have the best of seats. But if you listen closely, you can hear him above the other voices. If anyone out there has better footage, please let me know.)

See Site for Details

There is some really exciting, really scary news over at our adoption site!

Its Christmas Time

Zoo Lights

Every year one of our local zoos decorates its grounds with lights for Christmas time. Then they charge you $7 a person to go see them. <--- this is a jab at my dear hubby, who took me 8 years ago, a time when I thought they were "lame". But, in my opinion, the zoo has either improved its offering quite a bit, or maybe I just appreciate things a little differently now. In ay case, we went with my parents and had a very nice time. The boys thoroughly enjoyed themselves, of course. Its not every day one gets to run around a zoo in the dark.

Ascent to the Golden Bushie

Years ago -- I can't remember how many exactly -- my hubby and eldest son, who must have been quite little at the time, summited the hillside of our neighborhood to a particularly large shrub my son dubbed, "The Golden Bushie". If I recall, it was one of those days where father and son needed some time outside together and mommy needed some quiet time at home. It was pre-little brother. Or at least, pre-mobile little brother. The Golden Bushie is remarkable in that in Fall it stands out on the green hillside due to its golden, yellow shade. It is also, for some strange reason, flanked by several madrona trees. (One doesn't usually see too many madrona trees this far inland. Of course, we have a decent amount of seagulls around too. Go figure.)Anyhow, since that time we have walked the woods and hills behind --in front of?? It depends on where you're coming from... -- our neighborhood on numerous occasions, but have never again been able to reach this elusive location. Until two Saturdays ago....

After parking at the trailhead about a mile from our house, we trek down the trail and head into the woods...determined to reach our goal.

Little Brother isn't so sure about all this...

Big Brother is game for any adventure...

Emerging onto the grassy hillside, Mommy takes up the rear, with dog in tow...

Big Brother forges his own path...as usual

Snacks: Don't leave home without them.

The men break off from Mommy, whose still-weak ankle won't let her climb steep hills, leaving her with the dog, the camera, and a cell phone... Little Brother is actually riding baby-gorilla style on Daddy's back by this point.

Objects in this photo are FARTHER than they appear...but they are getting CLOSER to their goal!

Success! If you look closely to the left of THE Golden Bushie, you can see Hubby...

Zooming in, a shot of the happy climbers.

And we even made a friend...

The End!

Wordless Wednesday

(You'll get it if you've seen Kung Fu Panda.)

A Great (Wolf) Vacation

We had a wonderful trip to the Great Wolf Lodge last week. I think I was the person most reluctant to leave. T had such an amazing time. He was totally in his element -- literally. We could have left him in the wave pool for 48 hours straight and he would have been thrilled. Talk about sensory heaven! He willingly took on every slide for which he was tall enough, a bazillion times. He would have gladly tried the Tornado, but alas, he was too short. We splurged on the lodge's Magiquest game -- and it was well worth it. The boys got wands with which we completed a series of quests and adventures. There were interactive items (eg. animals and paintings) all throughout the lodge. Wave your wand at the item and it gives a clue or results in a a stage of a quest being completed. By the time we left, we were Master Magi! Our room was perfect -- the boys had their own decorated bunkbed area and we had a fridge and microwave. Wolves, water, wands and wonderful boys, what more do we need?!

Sorry it took so long to get the photos up. And the ones we have aren't super. The problem with a lodge is the lighting is...well, lodgy. Many of our photos are just too dark to enjoy. And the flash gave everyone red eyes. so I had to go in and edit that out. I was also sort of grieving the end of the trip, like I mentioned. T was SOO happy and mellow and pleasant...meaning everyone was relaxed and enjoying each others company. It was sad to leave knowing that it would mean a return to the struggle that it every day life. But such is a real vacation. A break from the norm. For once we really got to experience that...and I'm extremely grateful.

A Very Merry Unbirthday!

Tomorrow is the 6th birthday of my big, bouncy boy! We, however, won't be here. We're heading south to the Great Wolf Lodge! What better present for a boy whose favorite thing in the world is water than a trip to an indoor water park?? Its also likely our "last hurrah" since we are now Number 7 on the wait list! (And we're getting poorer by the minute -- before we leave town we have to pick-up our minivan...for $404! Yuck!)

Love you so much, Big Boy! Happy birthday!

Neurotypical Vs Not-So-Typical

There are certain moments when I catch myself marvelling at the differences in my two boys. The youngest is three and a half now, which is about the age where with my oldest I really had started to conclude that something was wrong. There were glimmers of it before that time, but it wasn't really concrete until age three. Having the neurotypical (ie "normal") child second obviously offers only the benefit of hindsight in that regard; "normal" behavior of the second child shows what was missing with the not-so-typical first.

Some differences are glaring, as in the pitiful stages of separation anxiety. Boy #2 leans to the extreme on this one -- he's still very clingy when it comes to his mommy. His brother, on the other hand, never shed a tear over being left in someone else's care. He usually cried when I returned to pick him up. (That's a transition issue.) Mostly he never seemed to care where I was at all. If he needed something, he would simply improvise a way to get it. (He has since learned, much to my chagrin, that if he hollers for something he might avoid having to work at getting it himself.)

Today I experienced one of the more subtle examples of something else that was missing: conversation. My younger son has developed a love for hot chocolate. He would much prefer my coffee, but this is an acceptable compromise. This morning I decided to join him in a cup and sat down beside him at the table. The little guy proceeded to tell me all about the previous evening at AWANA club, how he gets sad when I leave him with Grandma, and so on. He asked if I get sad too when I leave him, to which I replied that yes, I often miss him very much. As our conversation continued in this way, I was struck by its shocking novelty.

Ever since his brother started kindergarten this year, I have been surprised at how much the little guy talks. (And talks. And talks.) In fact, I have remarked about it on several occasions. But over that cup of hot chocolate this morning I realized that the kind of conversations I envied between other mommies and their children were actually happening to me. All that talking he's been doing is normal. It wasn't normal to hold a one-sided conversation with a silent child. (And, oh, I talked and talked to that child! Being the quiet type, I was so worried that he would be lacking interactive conversation, so I talked about everything I could possibly think of....) As he got older, the silent child spoke more often. But I realize now that he never shared feelings or thoughts about his experiences. He asked questions. Repetitively. One after another. He never responded when spoken to...until about age four when he would respond with a squawk and a smack to the stomach before bolting from the room.

Its funny to feel like a new mommy when you're raising your second child. There have been so many milestones, most of them subtle, that we simply never had with our eldest. Right now I'm working on potty training with our three year-old. His brother potty trained himself in one day when he was nearly four. Never an accident, never big-boy underwear by day and pull-ups by night. Diapers to underwear in one day -- just because he wanted to. Even then I knew that was unusual! I have no idea what to expect this time around. I do know that I got off easy the first time around, at least on that one account.

Today, when I hugged my soon-to-be-six year-old before I sent him off to school, I told him that I loved him. For about the fourth time in his entire life he actually responded -- he said "Me too."

_________

** I just realized that this is my 99th post. Am I supposed to do something interesting for my 100th? Any ideas?

Baker, Baker

I have a confession. I hate to cook. Always have. Yet, it is necessary for me to do so for my family's survival, so I have learned the basics and do the best I can. Baking, on the other hand, holds more interest to me. The problem with baking is that I simply don't have time to do it very often. Oh, I bake my boys' birthday cakes, cupcakes, and the usual potluck brownies, but I don't often get to do much more than that.

A short time ago -- 10 days to be exact -- I was given an Amish friendship bread starter from a Bible study friend. (If you're like me and have never heard of Amish friendship bread before, think of it like a chain letter in the form of bread dough. Someone gives you a starter mix in a Ziploc bag, you take it home and mush it around for a certain number of days, then add some ingredients to multiply it into four starters and batter. At this point, you'll have three starters to give away, one starter to keep for yourself, and batter to make into two loaves of bread.) Well, I faithfully mushed that little starter for the required number of days, then today the little guy and I got to turn it into its doughy destiny. As you can see by the photo, I am so pathetic in the cooking/baking world that I had to scrounge for pans to use! Hey, at least I had the ingredients on hand. Tonight we'll find out how successful we were....

So, Becky E, does this make me in the dough-know??

Wordless Wednesday

Happy Veteran's Day

Remember the boy who just a year ago would only draw a scribble? The above was his response to the Veteran's Day assembly at school. (For the record, the people on the ground are soldiers crawling.) Thanks be to God for my amazing boy and for the men who willingly fight for the rights we take for granted.

In honor of my father, grandfather, and other family members who have served....

Where am I?

This is my third attempt at posting in the last several days. Honestly, I haven't been able to form a solid, concrete thought about anything in weeks. Its not as if we've been busier than normal, but rather the things we have been busy with have all carried significant weight, thus requiring more energy than normal.

My mother-in-law had fairly serious surgery, which was successful in a way, but it brought with it a series of other issues that have been difficult for her to endure. We, her family, have been doing our best to surround her with encouragement and help where we can. Its hard to watch her suffer.

Things have improved to a certain degree with our son's school situation. They seem to believe that the behavior plan is working. I'm not so sure. I would be more inclined to believe that we're just on the upswing of whatever cycle we're dealing with here. Truthfully, I think some of his behavior has stayed the same, but the way they are charting it makes it appear that it has gotten better. He's still bopping his classmates on the head, he just doesn't get a card for it. Instead its one sad face for each incident. I don't know. We're still working on it.

We had his annual IEP review this past Monday, which went reasonably well. I expected more cluelessness from the one gal with whom we've had some trouble, but she was decidedly less flippant about his behavior this time around. The goals she had created for him were pretty reasonable and I was relieved to find that she didn't expect him to achieve them all in some ridiculous timeline. His teacher remains our true ally -- I love her! What a gift! After the others had left, she made a point to keep us around afterwards to share with us the ways in which he was succeeding and growing and giving to the class. That meant so much. One of my biggest fears is that she would file him away as her problem student. Instead, it was clear that, apart from some obvious issues, he really is doing well in her class. (Can we say advanced reading group?? Yay for him!)

One negative on the school front: his bus has been late -- I mean, after-school-has-already-started late all week! Apparently there have been different substitute drivers each day. We've had to drive him every day, which would normally not be a huge deal, but it really throws things off -- especially for him. For a child dependent on routine, its big.

And then there's the election. I won't even go into the national stuff. However, I must comment on our local races, specifically the one involving my father-in-law. I am saddened to report that he did not win. The hardest part about the loss is seeing it in the wake of all the hard work he put into the race. This man put body and spirit into his campaign, literally. He doorbelled for miles and insists he walked enough stairs to equal a tower of the (former)World Trade Center three times. (I believe it.) And he did it all on donations from family and friends. No party sponsorship here, folks! Tuesday night found us at a small gathering of family, friends and volunteers from his campaign. It was agonizing to watch the votes being counted so very slowly and seeing the race tip in his opponent's favor, but he maintained such a kind spirit through it all. We are very, VERY, proud of him and all for which he stands. The 47th District doesn't know what they're missing.

In other news, we finally received our camera back from wherever it was we had to send it to have it fixed. This is actually significant to report because it will single-handedly enable me to participate in Wordless Wednesdays again. And, yes, my posts will have pictures again. That way you won't have to just take my word for it when I report that, indeed, my children did look adorable in their (un)Halloween costumes. Sigh.

In the meantime, absolutely nothing is happening in our particular adoption circumstance. We do know, however, that it is entirely possible (though not that common) for a family to go from Number 8 to Number 1 in a matter of weeks, so it is a bit of a giddy time. To that end, I recently purchased 25 baby bottles from the dollar store. Not for the baby directly, mind you, so don't go all anti-BPA crazy on me. Rather, we hope to start a change drive very soon. Like, as soon as we can get the bottles labeled. We will also be sending out a letter later this month detailing other ways we plan to raise funds. Really. We will. I just need to tell my husband.

In the meantime, look for more pretty posts ahead. Hopefully in a shorter amount of time.

Great Balls of Fire

Our eldest has been quite intrigued with the happenings of the Pentecost these days, courtesy of his Children's Church teacher. For example, we've been asked numerous questions about how the apostles were able to be understood by people who spoke different languages. I suppose this would be a hard concept for a very literal fellow, much like many concepts that we believers take for granted.

Tonight as we drove in our van, hubby was following behind in his truck. Despite my assurances that daddy was indeed there, our youngest was very concerned about whether or not daddy was actually behind us and expressed his desire to remove his car seat buckle so he could turn and see for himself. I told him that, no, he could not unbuckle. Then, I proceeded to explain that he would just have to trust that daddy was indeed behind us in his truck, much like we have to trust that God is there even though we can't see Him. While his younger brother pondered my impressive analogy -- or became distracted by something else, most likely -- the eldest spoke up, in typical random fashion, and asked why the apostles had "fire balls" over their heads. Thankfully, I am well acquainted with random associations and knew immediately that we were back to the Pentecost.

I explained that, in my understanding, the flames were there as a sign of the Holy Spirit's presence with the apostles on that day.

"Why were there balls of fire?" he queried.

"I'm not sure," I said, "but I think it was just something God used to show that the Holy Spirit was with the apostles."

"What did the fire balls do?" he asked, probably thinking of some defensive weapon from a cartoon.

"Well, they were just there above the people's heads...and I think they went away soon after."

"They went away?" asked he.

"Yes, I think God just used them as a sign for that one occasion, the first time the Holy Spirit had come," I explained. "But the Holy Spirit was still with them, just like the Holy Spirit is with mommy and daddy because we chose to love and follow Jesus."

Silence.

"And some day hopefully you'll choose to love and follow Jesus, too, and the Holy Spirit will be with you too, " I continued.

"Will I get a ball of fire too?" he asked with excitement.

"No, I don't think so," I said.

"Ah, man! I want a ball of fire!"

Yeah, I bet!

Phases of the Moon

Things have gotten a little bumpy at school the last few weeks. After weeks staying "green", we've seen a huge increase in "orange" days -- not just a warning, but actual timeouts. I'm not entirely sure what brought about the change. I know he was moved to a different spot for carpet time. The teacher also rearranged everyone's seats. There were also a few days in there where there were substitute teachers.

Anyway, he won't tell me why -- he says he forgets -- and I wasn't receiving any communication from the school. I sent a note to his teacher requesting a note in return on the days when he reaches that level of consequence, but still wasn't hearing anything. Finally, I emailed her expressing concern. She wrote back promptly saying that she and the resource room gal had decided the day before to implement a behavior plan. She explained that he had been exhibiting a lot of physical behavior/aggression -- though not necessary in anger, just a lack of control when it came to hitting -- which had resulted in the timeouts. He's very remorseful, she says, but only when she talks with him following the timeout.

Let me stop a moment to say here that hitting has been a huge problem with him from the moment he could move. Before he could talk, he would greet children and adults alike with a nice smack to the chest. More bizarre, he would reach out an swat strangers as he walked by when we were out in public. Obviously, we were not pleased and tried everything we could think of to teach him to stop. We still do. And we certainly don't condone it. This behavior -- and its perseverance despite so many interventions -- was a significant factor in our pursuit of a diagnosis. We are baffled as to the true motivation behind it -- though we know it stems from his lack of social skills/communication. There may be a little bit of sensory stimulation involved as well. The most bizarre thing about his hitting is that it comes and goes in phases. He will go weeks at a time without a single incident, then, without warning, he'll go into a week-long hitting frenzy. In recent months we have also seen a corresponding increase in classic autistic hand-flapping behavior. This too disappears for a significant length of time, only to show up unexpectedly.

Perhaps there is something to the theory of the phases of the moon having an affect on someone's behavior. Not being the superstitious type, I would dismiss such an idea if I hadn't seen it in action so many times. (My mom and I both have worked in the junior high discipline arena and can readily attest that there is a significant increase in naughtiness when there is a full moon. She has also noted that many kids will offend cyclically, for example, on the 8th or 9th of each month. And I have never met an ER nurse or OB/GYN who would say there wasn't an increase in visits during a full moon.) I haven't really kept track of the moon, or much of anything else outside general circumstances, when it comes to the cycles of my son's behavior...but maybe I should start??