Leaving the Nest

Tomorrow is his last day of preschool. Tomorrow he leaves the comfort of the familiar grouping of teachers who understand him and are unfazed by his many quirks, the classmates who aren't the slightest bit unsettled by his unusual outbursts, the program suited for busy boys like him -- boys with autism.
The prospect of mainstream kindergarten is exciting, but also terrifying to this mother. I have been spoiled by hours of not having to worry about what hurtful comments, what misunderstandings my son might be enduring while in school. His teachers offer no judgment, real or perceived, on my parenting abilities. I am not met at the door with a litany of my son's misdeeds. Indeed, his little classroon has been a haven in which he has truly blossomed -- if for no other reason than being accepted as who he is, diagnosis and all. Outside this classroom, there are no guarantees. People stare, they declare their disapproval to my face.
Tomorrow they are holding a miniature graduation ceremony for the students moving on to kindergarten. The children all made their own graduation hats. And I am already a tearful wreck because this is one graduation that has come too soon. In kindergarten he will be the one in 25 with a label, the child who is pulled out for special services. And while there is no shame in that, I wish -- oh, how I wish! -- it weren't so.
I am so proud of that little boy. Tonight as I go to sleep, all I can do is pray as I always have, that the Lord will keep him in His care, that the Lord will give us all the grace to face the uncertainty of the days ahead, and I will remember how far we've come...and trust that God will give us all strong wings as we leave this nest.

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** Pictured is one of the many poor hapless birds that our cat has brought home of late. This one just happened to still be alive when I intervened. It made a quick recovery in a box in our bathroom, then promptly beaned its little head on the glass door trying to escape. It was after this that I took the photo. After a short return to the "recovery room", it was released outside, hopefully with better cat-evading skills.