Weight/Wait

Walking, stumbling on these shadowfeet
Toward home, a land that I've never seen
I am changing
Less and less asleep
Made of different stuff than when I began
And I have sensed it all along
Fast approaching is the day

When the world has fallen out from under me
I'll be found in you, still standing
When the sky rolls up and mountains fall on their knees
When time and space are through
I'll be found in you

There's distraction buzzing in my head
Saying in the shadows it's easier to stay
But I've heard rumours of true reality
Whispers of a well-lit way

When the world has fallen out from under me
I'll be found in you, still standing
When the sky rolls up and mountains fall on their knees
When time and space are through
I'll be found in you

You make all things new

When the world has fallen out from under me
I'll be found in you, still standing
Every fear and accusation under my feet
When time and space are through I'll be found in you
When time and space are through I'll be found in you
When time and space are through I'll be found in you

-Shadowfeet, Brooke Fraser



Why do I feel so suffocated by the world right now? I am weary with all the political fighting and cruelty in the media -- on both sides. The media is obviously not the place to go when one needs to be cheered up, but these days its just that much worse what with all the finger-pointing, deceit, and downright arrogance. Its simply depressing. And it certainly doesn't make me want to vote for anybody. Its frustrating not to be able to just know the truth. Who can I trust? Isaiah 2:22 tells me, "Stop trusting in man, who has but a breath in his nostrils. Of what account is he?" Too bad I have to choose between two men in just a matter of weeks. I mean, I've already made up my mind, but I wish I had another option. I really don't prefer to be aligned with either side. My gut tells me that America will never be the same after this election. That kind of scares me -- except that my hope and trust isn't in man. You can tell that this whole thing bothers me though, because this is the second time I've mentioned politics on this blog and there are few things that I hate more than talking politics! (Sorry, Tim!)

I've been thinking a lot about what's important to me, my priorities, etc. (In my spare time, of course.) Quite honestly, it would be very easy to become depressed with our earthly circumstances right now. I'm sure most people could say the same thing. Financially, we're barely hanging on. We're way behind where we would like to be in aggressively seeking help for our son. Our earthly possessions are rapidly deteriorating. And we're waiting, always waiting, for our unknown baby girl halfway around the world.

The last of these has really been on my mind lately and is one of the driving thoughts that urges me to examine our life. I find it ironic that we had to complete a 20+ page homestudy document, proving that our life is stable enough into which we could bring an adopted child and all that doing so entails, but if one were to look at our life superficially, one would hardly see stability. Our entire life has become one huge exercise in trust...and obedience. The Lord didn't tell us, "When you're financially sound, adopt a child." or "When everyone is healthy, in every regard, adopt a child." He simply asked us to adopt a child and to trust Him for the details. To many who look at our life, this seems like foolishness. But, unlike folks alluded to in the first paragraph, He has never let us down yet.

Whether I leap into the foggy voids that are adoption and mainstream kindergarten or sign my name with great trepidation to a voter's ballot, what is important is in Whom I place my trust. If I remember that, I can breathe easier.

**I love the song above, which I assume is taken from Psalm 46. I am VERY picky about my worship music choices, so I was pleasantly surprised to hear this song on the radio. I plugged it into this blog for now, for those who would like to hear it. Just turn up your speakers. Or turn them down, if you are so inclined.