Alpacas!

We love alpacas! Okay, well, we're just suckers for animals in general. Alpacas are just so darned cute...and kid-friendly. Someday we would love to have a few acres and maybe, just maybe, a couple alpacas just for fun. Yes, we're nuts.

Each year around this time there is a weekend when many of the alpaca farms in the region open their farms to the public for tours. There are a couple farms within a mile or two from us, so we take the opportunity to visit. There is also the benefit of space and everything is so, well, farmy, so the boys can't do too much damage!

On a sad note, our dear beta fish, "Red Car" (Yes, our eldest named him. He always names things for the whatever he is looking at at the moment. We all hope this changes before he has children of his own! Imagine that one!), is now swimming in the crystal seas of Heaven, tumor-free. The poor thing had a tumor on his chest that was nearly as wide as he was long, so after letting him suffer for a few weeks, we finally got up the nerve to cryogenically suspend him (ie. put him in the freezer, which is apparently what the professionals at PetsMart recommend as the most humane way to do it) Now as to what we do with our little beta-cicle in a cup, I'm not so sure. Hubby suggests putting the block in the toilet until it thaws a little, then flushing him. We'd have to do it overnight, so one of the boys doesn't happen upon a little red frozen fish by accident. This was the same reason why we didn't throw him over the back fence -- so our hunter kitty didn't bring home a surprise. Fun times, fun times.

Stumping for Pop-Pop

My boys' grandfather is running for state representative. We actually live outside his legislative district, but we try to do what we can to help:


Helping daddy assemble signs

Looking mighty cute in the process

Posing with the candidate's wife (Grandma)

Campaigning takes a lot of work!

Green Day

No, not the band. A second day of "staying on green"! Hooray for my boy! He even saved his little M'n'M to show me when I picked him up. Yesterday his teacher gave him two. I don't know how he finagled that one. Maybe she was just as excited as I. But he gave one to his little brother, which only made me choke up all the more. Anyway, I'm very proud.

Shark Boy - Part Two(th) and Other Stories

Yes, if you look closely you will see that his permanent teeth have all but come in and the baby teeth are still there. To its credit, one of the baby teeth is very loose and could come out any day now. The other one...not so much. Being the dutiful mother that I am, I have sought out what knowledge there is to be gained...from the Internet, and have come to the conclusion that we'll just leave them be for now. Conventional wisdom seems to indicate that everything will move into place in its appointed time. If there are any dentists who read my blog and feel otherwise, please let me know. Of course, this mommy doesn't relish taking that son to the dentist any time soon -- though I know I should. Seeing as how his 5-year well-child check-up at our pediatrician's office (where he's gone all his life) mostly consisting of said 5 year-old hiding under a chair and screaming like a banshee, can you blame me? (Incidentally, this is the same pediatrician whose own son with autism has to be totally put under anesthesia for dental check-ups.) I have a few other things I have to deal with right now. Like school.

School is still not going terribly well. I get the impression that my son really enjoys school. He comes home happy and relatively mellow. Those are good signs. But apparently he is still not behaving as expected at school at times, which has resulted in several disciplinary incidents and even his having to be restrained by staff. Those are bad signs. Now, let me just say up front that I don't blame the school at all for disciplining my son. We discipline him too in those same circumstances. We just do it differently. And we try to adjust the circumstances so that he does not act out, as we are trying to understand what makes him act out. So now the school is wondering what to do with him. Something needs to be done here, they tell me. I ask them when we can meet to talk and put some things into place. Last week they told me it would happen this week. This week they are telling me it will happen next week. What are we to do in the meantime, I ask. Isn't there some way we could meet earlier so we don't have these same incidents played out day after day for another week? No, they say, we can't meet until next week. And in the meantime he needs to learn that his behavior is not acceptable, they say. Right. Like we haven't been working on that one for the last 5 years!
Again, I'm not trying to criticize the school. I am simply frustrated. You wouldn't throw a kid with no legs in a pool and expect them to just pick up swimming because they are in a pool. Children with autism have difficulty with social behavior. Its one of the key components of their make-up. It is what many autism professionals call a "core deficit". You can't throw a child with autism in a kindergarten class with 25 other kids and one teacher and expect them to just do something that they by nature simply can't do. You give the kid with no legs a kick board and an instructor in tune to that child's needs and sure, you can teach him to swim. So why not put some things in place for the child with autism? Well, if we ever have our meeting we're sure going to try.
Please pray for us as we navigate this road. I worked in public schools for two years and got to see the educator's side. I never dreamed I would have to walk the parent-with-a-special-needs-child side. I want to be sensitive to the fact that there are 24 other "normal" kids in the class that are entitled to an education free of being poked and prodded by their autistic classmate. I get that. I just want my son to have a chance too. A chance to avoid being the weird kid who gets in trouble all the time. Pray that we can figure out a way to make sure he is getting what he needs, without being seen as difficult parents.
Pray for our son's little heart, because he really and truly does not grasp why he gets in trouble all the time. Can you imagine that? Getting yelled at wherever you go and not understanding why? Its so complicated in his mind. He knows that hitting is wrong, but many times what he is doing that may in fact involve hitting to him does not qualify as hitting. He will hit someone in a certain manner and you can call him on it at that very second and he will deny to his grave that he hit that person. He will burst into the most horrible tears because to him it wasn't hitting, it was some other strange form of communication that only he understands -- but he doesn't know that he is the only one that understands it. It is truly bizarre and frustrating and heartbreaking and fascinating and all a part of who he is. This Sunday in church he quite deliberately knocked my coffee cup so that my coffee spilled down my arm and on the floor. And then he just stared at me and at the coffee and was completely and utterly baffled that I should be upset and that what he had done was not in the slightest bit acceptable or amusing. I took him out to the hallway to talk to him and he looked at me like he could not fathom what I was talking about. How could I be mad? I just wanted to hold him and cry at the complete hopelessness of it all. Thank the Lord for the sermon on grace that followed when I returned to the service. His grace is sufficient. That verse was the Rock that I clung to in the year preceding my son's diagnosis. And it is the same one I cling to now in this crazy sea He has seen fit for me to flail in for a while.

Note: Today was the first day in a week of school days that he did not receive some sort of discipline at school. I praise the Lord for that and seek His grace for tomorrow.

Another note: We have nearly completed the 5-hour RDI DVD and are so encouraged. We feel that this intervention would be a great fit for our son -- we just have to come up with the $4000 out-of-pocket to implement it. Good heavens. Makes you wish Sarah Palin actually had a chance at winning. (Okay, so it makes me wish that. Unfortunately, I don't think that's going to happen, but that's just my opinion and that's all I've got to say about that.)

Hey now, the Dream is Over

Okay, so its not that bad, but the honeymoon period has indeed ended. I knew as soon as I went to pick him up and realized that the resource room gal was waiting with him. I wouldn't say she was surprised, but she did seem a little resigned to admit that we his parents indeed knew what we were talking about. It would seem that, in her words, our son "doesn't do well with the word 'no' and doesn't seem to think that the rules that the other kids follow apply to him". Um, yeah. That's pretty much the definition of your typical child with Aspergers/High-Functioning Autism. No surprise there. Now as to what we're going to do about it, she says she has some ideas and would like to meet with us next week to set up his new IEP. Seeing as how my son himself already divulged that he has broken in the classroom discipline system -- not in those words -- this should prove to be an interesting week. (He said that he got a "yellow card," which is a warning, and didn't receive a reward like the other kids.) I think I've been holding my breath since the first day of school. The good news is that now I can exhale. The bad news is that things are going to get a lot more complicated. Time to revisit the Psalms!

What Child is This??

Shock and awe. That's how I would describe what I feel about how well my son is doing this week. He happily hops aboard the bus each morning, waving goodbye with a grin. Each afternoon, he follows his teacher and fellow classmates out the door, waits for his teacher to release him to me, then rushes over and lets me hug him! He's tired, but with the exception of one day, has been mostly mellow until bedtime. I cannot even begin to describe how much of a change this is -- you really have to know him to understand. I don't know if its due to the novelty of kindergarten, the level of stimulation he has all day, or just the fact that the rest of us are more relaxed with the schedule change. I do know that all the prayer has played a significant role in his success thus far! (Thank you!) I honestly had no idea that he would do this well. I am so pleased! Now we must pray that he will continue to thrive as he adjusts for the long haul.

My little guy has been doing well too. He is just as happy as a three-year-old can be getting to have mommy to himself all day. As I alluded to above, things are just so much calmer around here and that helps significantly in how we all cope. I'm not as exhausted in the evenings and can get more done, too.

The picture above right is from an evening jaunt to the Puget Sound this past weekend. I was able to stock up on more boy-on-the-beach photos, of course, but also snapped this photo of my fearless child investigating a couple of (harmless) jellyfish that had washed ashore. Fun stuff!

Wordless Wednesday

How to Save a Life

http://www.cnn.com/2008/US/09/10/rescue.at.sea/index.html

Autism Fact Sheet

I've had several people ask me for more information about autism lately. I found this fact sheet, hypothetically written from the perspective of a child with autism, to be a better-written one than many others: http://www.autism-help.org/tell-you-autism-asperger%27s.htm .

Obviously, its pretty general, not specific to my particular son, but I think it covers a lot of the basics. I also found it ironic that the site has a header photo of a boy in the waves -- my boy's favorite place to be!

First Day of School...For Real

My boy is officially a Kindergartner! He reported that his favorite part of the day was riding the bus -- he's been looking forward to that ever since he learned what a school bus was -- and that he got to go to gym twice and got lost coming back both times. (I'll press for more details later!) There are few things he hates more than to be pestered about his day. It will usually come out in completely random fashion at a later time. In the meantime, some pictures:

First Day of School...Sort of

Wednesday was Kindergarten Orientation. Not to be confused with Kindergarten Round-Up. That took place in May. Or Kindergarten Registration. That took place following Kindergarten Round-Up. No, Kindergarten Orientation was what we had yesterday and consists of everyone dressing their child in new school clothes only to go to school for one hour, parents sitting in tiny chairs listening to the teachers explain discipline procedures, snack sign-up, and how to pick up the children in an orderly fashion, while the children learn proper bathroom-requesting techniques and other equally critical information. In truth I think the whole thing was a clever ruse to keep parents from clogging the classroom on the REAL first day of school in order to ascertain that same information.

It was a little unnerving to walk into the room, knowing that the kindergarten staff has already heard all about your child. Based on the information they had they certainly would have preconceived ideas about him...and us. ("Ah, so THAT'S him. And THOSE are his parents.") It was hard not to be paranoid. Honestly, I was more nervous about the impression we made on the staff than I was about anything else. We have had many hurtful experiences in the last month and it really has put me on the defensive.
I think I mentioned before that we already knew to which teacher he was assigned. We had never really actually met her, however. I was so glad to finally do so. I have really high hopes for his success in her classroom. She is just about the most perfect fit for him that one could ask for, praise God.
Our last classroom experience was so unique, it was hard to know what to expect when seeing him in a group of "normal" children, all strangers. He was a bit hesitant at first to leave for the other room with all the kids, but he said goodbye as he did so -- which is a big thing, in and of itself. He also waved to us upon his return. The children were asked to sit on a rug full of colored squares and, lo and behold, he held out for an orange square, his favorite color, despite having to sort of squish into that spot. He's so particular about those sorts of things! I wouldn't be surprised if he sat in that exact square all year long!
Overall, he did very well with his little hour of school -- it was afterward that was a nightmare. All the conflicting emotions and new situations and information to process left him in quite a manic state. He was wild and angry and a big flailing mess all day long. I'm counting on tomorrow afternoon, following his first full day of school, being just as bad. I'm very confident that he will be fine while he is actually at school. That's just the way it works...until he gets bored. We'll just watch and see! Another thing of which I'm confident? He is SO ready to be at school. And I am SO ready for him to be there!
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In other news, we continue to plod our way through the five hour RDI DVD. We can only do so much at a time, as we rarely have time together and it is A LOT of information to process...especially after a long day. It looks like it would be such a wonderful program for him, if we could actually implement it. And afford it. Its in my prayer journal, to be sure!

Also, be sure to check out the update on our adoption site!